Almost out of cigarettes. Never have I heard so many words between words as when we talked about what bugs us, what brings us to life. You kept looking at my lips.Then, in cold terms, you made clear what you told yourself you’re looking for, you didn’t need anybody. There wasn’t a glimpse of me in there. Since forever ago you hadn’t fallen in love. Or so you say. As one does, I told myself I misheard you when you named me prince of everything. Fool’s more like it. Needed a drink after that. Maybe two. Maybe more. I forget.We hid amongst our friends as friends. Dining, laughing, cracking unsavory jokes. Celebrating life in all its shitty splendor. Playing your out of tune guitar all night. Not a single stolen look crossed the room. Denial. Sweet presence. I wanted to touch your hair.We kissed when they left. Showed parts and licked them, sucked them. You asked me to taste you. I grabbed your ass and felt your petite but strong frame against mine. I never knew you were this delicate,. She didn't hold to that." Maybe she had a reason. You could have asked her why."I was silent for a long minute, before saying, "If it happened today, I would ask her. Don't you think I haven't kicked myself for being so abrupt with her? Maybe her reasons weren't so black and white and I have caused myself a lot of pain. You still haven't told me about what she did when she left here or what she has been doing in the last few years." I don't know it all. The first I knew of her trouble with you was when she called before she left Moline. She wanted to move in with me. I told her she couldn't. I was in a situation where I couldn't have a guest even if she was my sister. This was just no place for her at that time."It is a good thing because with the way she was feeling she might have been out on the street with me. Please understand I am speaking figuratively. I have never walked the streets. It is just that I do the same thing as those who have."I looked at this woman who freely.
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